How We Met

Allen: Ahh... where do we start? I first saw her screeching her tires into our booking facility with a crazy man riding in her patrol car with her. Right then I knew two things: she was intimidating, and she was an absolute badass. Somehow, that just made me want to know her even more. Then I ended up training on her shift. Naturally, I managed to annoy her by cutting her off during a funeral escort. Not exactly my finest moment. Eventually, though, we landed on the same work rotation, which finally gave me an excuse to start texting her.

Gabe: I'm oblivious to everything!

Allen: She and some of our mutual friends were planning a get-together... except no one actually invited me.

Gabe: In my defense, he was part of literally every conversation about it. How was I supposed to know he wasn't actually invited?

Allen: So, there I was, lying in bed playing video games, when my phone started blowing up. She was texting the group chat, asking if everyone was still meeting up.

Gabe: I know that's the fastest he's ever gotten ready.

Allen: I threw on some clothes and headed to the good old Texas Roadhouse.

Gabe: Naturally, I got there first and grabbed us a table. You're welcome.

Allen: Yeah, you don't get anywhere first anymore. Anyways back to the story.... Then I looked around and realized I was the only other person there besides her. Great... why me?

So, I called one of our buddies, completely panicking because I didn't want to walk in by myself. While I'm on the phone, his fiancée says, "Just go in and ask her if she knew how many G-spots were in a male butthole?"

Gabe: So what does this genius do?

He walks in, nervous and barely saying a word... and then blurts it out like it's a completely normal question.

I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry.

Allen: Surprisingly... she didn't run away.

In fact, we never really stopped talking after that day.

And somehow, the most awkward conversation imaginable turned into the beginning of our story.